This girl is more easily done than said...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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