I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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