if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
