So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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