And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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