If that was your dad, he is hot
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
