I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize