What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
