Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
