If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
