He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize