even my farts smell like vagina
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
