What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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