I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize