I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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