nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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