like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
