Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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