Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
