So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
