Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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