I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
