this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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