I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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