You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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