and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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