I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
