she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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