An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
