We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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