theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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