You're my little dorito
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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