Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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