wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
