She said her name was "party"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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