youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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