know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
