walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
