i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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