hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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