I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
