i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
