There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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