Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
