ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
