So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
