what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
