just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
