Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
