Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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