2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
