Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
