I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
