His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
