I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
