mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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