Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
