super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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