Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
