why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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