Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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